September 8, 2013
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fantastic
so now I have two places wherein people can see me say ridiculous things and where I am still being forced against my will to capitalise the letter I, and where my anglicised spellings are autocorrected to their American counterparts.
it is nice, I suppose. excepting those autocorrected things that I am 100% doing on purpose.
now all that is left to me is to determine what ridiculous things I would like to say. right now? perhaps something about the idea of ever-present stripes in blacks and greys, and also something about the merits of brown eyes…which I have not considered before, with my family being primarily blue-eyed, and my closest friends and Jester having eyes that register blue-green or green-brown.Not that I never interact with people who possess brown eyes…or course not…most people on this planet are of the dark-eyed variety…..but I have never made an effort to consider them and the way their brightness differs from the brightness in lighter coloured eyes.
It’s peculiar. But mostly I wish I had not been mindful enough to observe the phenomena. Most of the time I make no distinction at all. But I suppose it is a special case. Because when I notice, I see a real person. And I don’t know how to feel about that. Especially after hearing in different words all these things that I have already spent all this time saying to myself in that vast emptiness of the internet.
…I don’t even know how to explain what I mean. I’m not being offensive, as though all the people I know are somehow not real people. But here there is something looking out at me that is startling because I see it seeing me. Like…that feeling I get when I watch my reflection too closely and think it is going to bite me. Except there is not the maliciousness I see in my own reflection. Just the brightness. And the sense of seeing something that is, on some level, intimately familiar to you and extraordinarily startling because you did not expect to find it there.
