February 19, 2013

• Man. Conversations I have at work...

  *Erin walks into the office. We sit in silence for a minute.*
  Me: You know, you are not the one I was trying to psychically summon.
  Erin: Oh. Well, maybe you weren't trying hard enough. Who were you summoning?
  Me: Luke. I gotta ask him a question.
  Erin: Huh. I think he's all the way in the upstairs office.
  *Luke walks in*
  Erin: What?! You did not just open the door.
  Luke: Um. I'm pretty sure I did.
  Erin: *accusingly* She said she was trying to psychically summon you.
  Luke: Oh, I know. That's why I'm here. We're linked.
  Erin: Linked?
  Me: Psychically.
  Luke: You wouldn't understand.

  Emily: Woah. That bag has battle axes on it. Whose is that?
  Me: Mine. I had to get a replacement because apparently my jean bag said "mom".
  Emily: Oh. I said that, didn't I?
  Me: Yeah.
  Emily: And now you have this nice new bag that says all kinds of things about dragons and quests. Wood nymphs.
  Me: Wood nymphs?
  Emily: I dunno. It just popped into my head. It said it would belong to someone who enjoys their nymphs.
  Me: ...please stop talking to my bags.

  *I am eating in the office*
  Luke: Please tell me you're not eating my wrap.
  Me: I am not eating your wrap. I steal pens from you, not food.
  Luke: Well, that's a relief. *pause* You stole pens from me?
  Me: Just the one.
  Luke: Those were a gift!
  Me: I can give it back...
  Luke: No. It's okay. You're lucky you're my favourite person in this theatre.
  Me: *snorts and chokes on lettuce* That's a lie.
  Luke: Nope. And that's saying something, considering how highly I think of myself.

  Erin: Remember Animorphs?
  Luke: Yeah! We were talking about those a few weeks ago. They had those little flip-book pictures in the corners and stuff...
  Me: I read a ton of them when I was in junior high.
  Luke: Back when there were book fairs.
  Erin: If you were an animorph, what would you want to turn into?
  Luke: For what, two hours before you get trapped as an animal? Mmm. An elephant. An African elephant. They're the ones with the big ears, right?
  Me: Yeah.
  Luke: What would you turn into?
  Me: A woof.
  Erin: A woof?
  Luke: I think you'd stay a wolf. You wouldn't change back.
  Me: You think that?
  Luke: And I'd come in here and be like, "what big teeth you have!"
  Me: And I'd be like, "the better to destroy this big pile of paperwork!"

  • 12:48 am
  • 2 Comments