June 17, 2013
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Work never seems to go the way I expect it to.
Busy, of course, what with it being Father's Day, but then on top of that, being severely annoyed by people giving me impossible tasks to complete with that level of business going on, and then that all-consuming loneliness that sometimes strikes me for no discernable reason and makes me simultaneously want to shut down and not speak to anyone because I am convinced nobody gives a damn about me anyway, and to be extraordinarily friendly because I am also convinced that maybe, a miracle will happen and I will be able to connect with someone and not feel that way anymore.
I am glad I did not try to leave as soon as possible. I would have missed out on one of those rare moments when we are all gathered around after everything is done, and just talk about stupid things for a half hour and forget that we care about keeping payroll down because we just need a minute to do some team-building and laugh at each other. I still feel a hair's bredth away from that lonely void, but I will take whatever distance I can gain between myself and that feeling because once it gets you...it does not like to let go.
I had another thing, but I am horribly embarrassed about it, so I think I shall keep it to myself tonight...
Until next time.
