June 9, 2013
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I have been negligent in posting my excerpts from the past...
I feel like May had a lot of posts that were better written, so that kind of makes up for my not finding much that was noteworthy from 05-07...I swear I don't remember falling asleep in half my exams during my junior year of college. o.O
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5.7.08
I’m not scared of spiders, but I wasn’t happy to find it in my keyboard, of all places. Sooo… I sort of watched it for a while, lugging itself around underneath the keys… hoping it would squeeze its way out and succumb to capture… it was sort of like watching the big ol’ monster in Cloverfield, hauling itself through the buildings in NYC. Kind of like that, only on a much smaller scale.Then, the spider reached the edge of the keyboard and tried to get out.
It was creepy to watch because it was a yellow spider, and when it put its tiny little legs out to try and pull itself up, it looked like a bunch of tiny, yellowy skeleton fingers reaching up from the keyboardy depths.
(Ugh, I remember that spider. Gross.)
5.9.08
English Language: I got a B+. It’s my lowest grade… but I’m satisfied. I thought it would be worse than that… especially since I fell asleep in the exam.Humanities: I got an A. I’m brilliant. I fell asleep in the final exam for this class, too, and I even write answers while I was asleep… and woke up with a page essay that I couldn’t remember penning. So… I’m brilliant. What else can I say?
(Mmm. The wording of that second bit does not do justice to my brilliance, I assure you.)
5.3.09
I graduated Summa Cum Laude, which is pretty good, even if my xanga posts don’t typically reflect my vast stores of knowledge.
Be proud of me. I am brilliant. (and, as of now, unemployed)(That went on for a year and a half, too...that being unemployed.)
5.6.09
...back when he and I had been dating maybe a year (maybe less? I forget), we had come up with this idea for a “comic” about the two of us, based on musical interests. He was “Emo Boy,” and I was, of course, “Goth Girl.” Our enemy was his dad, “80’s Man,” and occasionally, Cap’n Crunch appeared as an extra villain. It was very amusing to us, but we never drew said comics because we don’t draw people well at all...(Heh. That was fun to talk about.)
5.7.09
Pitchforks. Right. We all know what they look like—long handle, three pointy stabby pieces, often used by farmers, Poseidon, Triton, and Satan.But why are they called pitchforks? I never thought about it before, but for some reason I’m wondering about it now because it occurred to me that it doesn’t make sense. I mean, forks are used for lifting and stabbing, and so pitchforks are usually used for lifting hay and stabbing unhappy mortals, right?
But…that’s not what the item’s name says it’s for. It is a fork for pitch, is it not? I mean…pitchfork, right? A fork used for pitch. But you can’t use a fork for pitch, can you? It would get all sticky, for one. Plus, a lot of it would run out of the fork before you could move it. So why ever do we call it a pitchfork if it is clearly not used as such?
I am mystified, indeed.
(I think what we concluded was that the "pitch" in this case was in reference to the verb.)
5.8.09
Just one of many things I’ve always hated about stereotypes…some people are quiet, some people are smart, some people are Goth (I didn’t really think I was when I was in high school though), and some people are all three…but not all of us are messed up.I’m not messed up. I’m wonderful.
If I could go back in time with my slightly improved social skills, I would be back in my various schools, and people would be on their knees, crying, because they would all see how wonderful I am and realize that they will never attain such levels of wonderment…
Just kidding. Kind of. I am still kind of sore about people always thinking there was something wrong about me though. Stupidheads…always talking about what they don’t know anything about…ugh.
(And I am likely to remain wonderful until the end of my days.)
5.15.09
Winter: Snow is good. Driving in snow is not, but I like to walk in it when I’m feeling low about things.
At the university, I would stand outside while it was snowing, and not go inside unless I was thoroughly covered in snowflakes. When I’d go in, I could see my reflection on the doors, and I looked nice with little white dots all over my hair and bag and my black coat and pants. Other times, I would stand outside the wooden doors on the Con, hands in my pockets, and wonder if other people wondered if I was cold or not.
Who? Me? I’m not cold. Just feeling sad and frustrated.(...)
5.18.09
Back in the day, when my personality used to have cat and dog sides, we used to joke about me not having any emotions when I was the being the cat…and apparently I am now a junior Vulcan. This is a step up from cat, I believe, and I even would get to keep the pointy ears. I just don’t have the twitchy tail anymore.
Bit of a disappointment, that.(Huh. I remember that me. It was a lie though. I always had emotions. I was just a thousand times better then at reining them in.)
5.19.09
Does anyone love you?
All who meet me love me.Do you have a reason to smile right now?
No. I was scary happy yesterday after church though. I sent Chris a message and called him Sunshine and everything…and told him that he had to come over and visit me because I wanted to give him a hug…that never happens.
And by the end of the day, I was a Vulcan and getting more comments than usual because of it.Did you laugh a lot at something today?
Oh yes. My sisters were trying to list the presidents…and I may not know all of them, but at least I know who was definitely NOT a president. I think one of them listed Harrison Ford, the other…Calvin Kline.(lol! My sisters...)
5.26.09
It was kind of bad off and on last summer, this feeling that I would die, and then again over winter break, but I'd kind of forgotten about it until the other day. It was nice out and I was walking on this nature trail with my little sister, and it just popped into my mind: "You'd better enjoy this while you can, because you're going to die."This is not earth shattering news though. Everyone dies. I’ll die, you’ll die. Everyone you have ever known, everyone you have ever hated, everyone you have ever admired…they are all going to die.
[...] I hate when the thought pops up while I’m happy…like on this past Christmas, or when I’m outside walking and everything is really pretty. Someday I’m not going to be here to see it anymore. I’ll be rotting somewhere. Have you ever tried to wrap your mind around your own putrefaction? I mean, it’s going to happen…
It also makes me wonder if I really am a bit obsessive compulsive, since in addition to doing things in a repetitive, ritualistic way and being phobic about certain things (like things being “dirty” all the time), repetitive disturbing thoughts are also a part of OCD…
(Something I still think obsessively about sometimes, unfortunately.)
