Who are you? I have been asking myself that for years now. I do not know. Do you ever think about someone and just start crying? No, but someone else will start thinking of someone and he starts crying. It’s no good having tearful people live in your head. Someday I will evict his entire family though… How many windows are open on your computer? Three. Are you looking forward to anything? I don’t know. I’m not sure anymore. Any time I do, I get this uneasy feeling, like I don’t want it to happen anymore. Like…I would rather just never do anything because of the surety I feel when I think that something will probably go wrong. How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking? My dear, I am always thinking about something. If I spoke every thought I had, when I had it, I would never shut up. And…I may be wrong, but I think they lock people up for that sort of thing. Especially if I narrated every half-morbid thought that flitted across the landscape of my mind. You would not want to hear it. Trust me. I think I keep an awful lot to myself. Is something bothering you? No. I wish something were though. Where is your best friend? Sleeping, probably. Do you mind being cold? I like to be a certain amount of cold. I prefer cooler to warmer. Did you sleep in past noon today? Yes. Is your heart broken right now? No. It’s nothing. Do you think two people can last forever? Not a chance. Everyone dies. Want someone back in your life? No. But I hate the idea that there are people who are neither in, nor out of one’s life. They just kind of hover there on the edge, not far enough away to be gone, but not close enough to be close. I hate it. Did you have a good birthday this year? I haven’t had it yet. I don’t expect much though. I’m one of those people who don’t have friends that come to see me. Does anyone disgust you? I don’t know. What are you currently hearing? My brother’s video game. Worship music…since my iTunes is happily shuffling away… Is there a person of the opposite sex that means a lot to you? There are a few that matter “a lot” to me. I would be sorry for anything to happen to them. How late did you stay up last night? It was closer to morning. How many people do you fully trust? None. I don’t know anymore. None, and too many. I don’t know what “trust” means anymore, now that I don’t really have anything to trust anyone with. Will you talk to someone on the phone tonight? If she answers, maybe. I should have called her today (yesterday?) because she told me to since it was her day off, but I didn’t because I ended up doing something else. Were you happy when you got up today? Not particularly. I was nothing when I got up. I feel that way now, too. Stupid Louis. Honestly, has anyone ever seen you in your underwear? I don’t think so. Not since I took my last gym class. Do you write notes on your hand? I haven’t had a reason to in months. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? Melody. Did you take a nap today? I don’t take naps, now that school is done. Does it bother you when people respond with one word? It depends on the type of conversation. One word answers can only carry you so far… Are you wearing something you borrowed from someone? I don’t usually borrow clothes. These are my own. Are you going anywhere for this summer? Possibly somewhere…and possibly nowhere. Do you put ketchup on top of your french fries or on the side? On the side. I’m not very fond of ketchup though. Or fries. If somebody liked you, would you want them to tell you? I would like to know, but out of everyone that I ever suspected liked me, only one ever bothered to come forward, and I had to sort of wheedle it out of him anyway. *sigh* I must be more frightening than I thought. Is anything bothering you? You have already asked me this question. Is that supposed to bother me? Do you want me to say yes, that your stupidity bothers me? Good grief… What time in your life would you like to put on repeat forever? That is an impossible question. I don’t know. On average, what do you cry most about? On average, I cry mostly because of the weepy person who lives in my head. He’s completely unrelated to anything in reality, real or fictional…but he won’t go away either. No ides why. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? No. It makes me want to hurt things. And for some reason…think of piglets. What is something you like to do when you're down? I don’t know. Someone phones you at 3:00 AM; who do you expect it to be? I would be very surprised to get a call at that hour. Do you eat whipped cream straight out of the can? I don’t like whipped cream. Your phone rings, what do you say? Usually I say “hello,” and I often follow it with “how can I help you?” Was last night enjoyable for you? I don’t know. No. Not particularly. I was distracted. Is there someone you will never forget? Several. Ever receive a really long apology? I did one time. It was a phone message…only after I called the person back who left the apology, she proceeded in ignoring me for months, which was really infuriating since that was exactly the sort of thing she was apologizing for… Is there someone you wish you were still close with? Several people. Honestly, if you could go back one month and change something would you? A month? No. There wouldn’t be much to change. What brings out the worst in you? Anything that makes me angry. I am a right little monster if you make me mad. Do you have tan lines? In spite of going outside almost every day, I am white, white, white. Want someone or something you can't have? I don’t know. No. Not particularly. But I’m sure that there are things that, if there was a chance, I might take it just because I could. I don’t know. Are you mean? Absolutely. What is your favorite season? Summer. It’s the only season. The other ones are only half there…I don’t know them. Do you mind sleeping on the floor? Yes. I mind very much. Is there someone who you can spend every minute with and be happy? No. But there is someone I could spend every minute with. As long as they didn’t pay too much attention to me. I don’t think I could stand it. Has anyone told you they missed you lately? No. Nobody misses me. Who makes you smile? I don’t know. What is your mood at this exact moment? Nothing. Tense…the sort of tense that happens to me during summer, when I haven’t been doing anything and have started sleeping during the day and doing everything at night. The sort of tense that happens before something goes bad, either in my real little world, or in my head. Really, if I had to pick one of the two, I’d prefer it to go bad in my head. It would hurt more, but I would rather not have more disturbances in my real life. Have you ever accidentally eaten an insect? This is the worst: getting gnats in the eye. It burns. End Reeser Voltaire: Does anyone else here even have a birthday this month? Kid: Yes! Voltaire: Ah, well, when is your birthday? Kid: The eleventh. Voltaire: The eleventh. *pause*creepy voice* April eleventh. What’s your name? Kid: Ryan. Voltaire: Ryan. So, if you’re on the eleventh, what sign would that make you? Ryan: Ares. Voltaire: Ares. You know, I don’t know why I’m even asking you all these totally gay questions. *pause* I don’t even fancy you. *audience laughs* | 
